I wrote this Medium article for the “wrong reasons”

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The Bachelor(ette) concept of “being in it for the wrong reasons” is absurd. For those who don’t watch the Bachelor, it means to be on The Bachelor for the fame and exposure of it, rather than to find true love. This is laughable because the very fact that they are looking for love on a show, means that they have at least some alternative motivation. Unless they truly believe that finding love on TV is the best method. In which case wtf.

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So if everyone is on the show for the “wrong reasons,” why is it an insult that the contestants use against each other? It’s not the contestants; it’s the editors, who can pick and choose exactly what to show the audience. Instead of saying “No! We can’t air that! It will break the audience’s immersion!”, they are intentionally breaking our immersion, because the Bachelor is not a show, it is a show about a show so you can make fun of the contestants and feel superior to them. Gather your friends and laugh at their hypocrisy. Or gather your friends and laugh at the people who watch The Bachelor.

you and the friends you don’t have (haha me saying you’re lonely makes me funny) — haha me calling myself out makes me clever ~ haha let’s go on and on while I bend myself over for a hypothetical audience ~

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But this is obvious, surface level. It’s why we watch. So why does it still feel good to laugh at them?

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I have a confident suspicion that all meanness in the world comes from insecurity. The contestants on The Bachelor are absolutely gorgeous, but we’re not allowed to want that or want to be that, that’s superficial. The contestants want True Love, but we’re not allowed to want that, that’s stupid and doesn’t exist. But the biggest crime they commit according to them, and you but you’re above it — given to you by the editors — is being superficial, for hypocritically being “in it for the wrong reasons”. So all of these, but especially this, is what we are being told we must be insecure about, and the fact that you act like you are above it makes you the most guilty of it.

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Cut to “All she does is post food pics on instagram, like I care about what she eats. I think I’m gonna unfollow her.” Then do it! You are pretending to be a viewer of the show, but you’re actually a contestant, the reverse of the contestants in The Bachelor acting like the viewer. What if the person posting the food pics was — gasp — actually sincere. The men most insecure about their masculinity are the ones who call things “gay”. The men most insecure about being the type of man who is not insecure about his masculinity are the ones who call things “gay” ironically. You call the food poster insincere because you are insecure about what? That you can’t do anything without considering the hypothetical audience? News flash: that’s everyone.

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I wrote this article. Boom. Roll credits. What are you going to do? Judge me? Why am I scared of that when all I want is an audience? Why do we simultaneously want an audience and also look down on people who want an audience? “Just make what you want and don’t care what others think!” That’s absolutely impossible and you’re either delusional or want me to think that you’re the type of person who doesn’t care what I think. In which case, you’re a hypocrite. In which case, I’m a hypocrite. The moral is, just post a food pic.